I keep things to myself. A lot.
Once upon a time it might have been surprising that somebody who blogs weekly and instagrams daily for an audience of strangers would also keep so much to themselves, but I feel the world is no aware that a lot of online personalities only share halve of their lives.
This post won't be a deep dive into why we do that. I bring it up only to say that everybody faces problems in their lives, whether it's evident through their social media or not. Nobody walks through life without a care in the world, and when problems arise you need a solid support system around you to help you get through.
Personally, a lot of my stress related emotions come from the fact I push myself too hard. I ask of myself things I would never ask of others because I think I can just keep on going without breaks. Which is why, several times, I have crashed. Burnt out.
Instead of being able to do even the small things, I break down, cry, and crawl into bed exhausted and disappointed in myself for not completing things I said I would.
And every time, the people around me have helped get me back on me feet. There have been days where every little thing would set me off in tears because I was so mentally exhausted that I didn't know what else to do. And on those days, there are people I know will make me laugh. Who I can lean on to do the things I can't manage.
It's important that you recognise these people in your life and let them help you.
Talking to my support system is what helps me get through everything. They (and I can't lie, it's mostly one very important person) teach me a lesson I never seem to fully learn: I don't need to push so hard.
When it came to job applications last summer, I was in such a massive slump that a lot of the time I didn't want to listen to those supporting me. They were right in what they were saying, and they buoyed me up a lot, but that doesn't mean it was always easy stuff to hear. In fact I (wrongly) went down the route of "you don't know what it's like" some of the time.
They did know what it was like. They just wanted to see me happy.
You know, if it wasn't for my mum coming to me in that period and saying telling me I should do what I love and write about what I'm feeling, I wouldn't have this blog today. I wouldn't have done so much writing, or shown anyone anything I'd worked on. My family were incredible. Are incredible.
And I don't know why I'm telling you this other than that I want to recognise that without wonderful support system I have, I can guarantee I would be a lesser person than I am.
This post is more rambly and personal than I intended. There's little to no structure, and there isn't really an overarching lesson. But I'm kind of happy to be sharing this, because sometimes life is bad or hard and you need support in place - whether it takes the form of family, friends (irl or online), pets, or any combination of the three. And sometimes life is good, and it's just nice to take a moment to appreciate those people.
Thanks to everyone who has got me this far, I'm eternally grateful.