Do you remember your first love?
The first glance, first date, first kiss…when the characters meet and a kaleidoscope of events happen to eventually have them fall head over heels in love, enticing an audience of hundreds of thousands to also fall in love with them.
Oh, did you think I was talking about your actual first love? If you’re anything like me or any of my reader friends, your first love might have been a fictional character in a book or movie long before it was an actual, real human being. What was better than that first love? When that book turned into a movie, and you could put a face to the character who stole your heart. But here’s the thing – the love relationships that make the best stories, often make the most toxic ones in reality. Why? Well, who wants to read the book about the reliable boyfriend who supports his girlfriend and showers her with love? Oh no – we’d much rather follow the story about the obsessive stalker trying to find love, or the intense vampire with control issues.
I am totally guilty of encouraging these narratives in the past (and maybe still a little bit…). These crazy, passionate, whirlwind romances are great to read about and use for entertainment, but the danger comes in when we try to emulate them in our real lives and real relationships. That being said, let’s visit 5 book-to-screen relationships we should absolutely not mirror in our real lives:
1. The Great Gatsby, Jay and Daisy
This is one of my favorite books ever, and I remember watching the movie when it came out and I was a teenager, and I couldn’t understand why Daisy chose Tom – I wished a man loved me as much as Jay loved Daisy. Then, I watched the movie again at age 22, and I understood. Jay was absolutely crazed. He bought a house across the lake from Daisy’s house, threw all these lavish parties just so that she would walk in one day and he could woo her, and he even blindly covered up her crimes – all these elements scream obsession and infatuation, not love. In return, she uses him as an escape from her life and encourages his toxic tendencies for excitement. This relationship was a train crash waiting to happen – it may be fun when a guy makes you seem like god’s gift to the world, but it’s less fun when his passion is turned against you.
2. After, Tessa & Hardin
Oh, my god – this book was a nightmare to read. Okay fine, I loved some of it. A lot of it. But most of it made me scream at the pages and wonder how long Tessa was going to take all the emotional abuse from Hardin. This book started off as fan-fiction, which explains the non-stop fighting, break-ups and make-ups. And while broken people deserve love too, which this book tries to showcase, you should never have to ‘love someone to health’. People should work on themselves independent of you, and get therapy and professional help or else that leads to codependency: a MAJOR theme in this book. Moral of the story: don’t date a guy who shows your bloody sheets to his friends to prove he took your virginity.
3. You, Joe & Literally Anyone
My favorite part of December? Not Christmas, not NYE – it’s the new season of You dropping on Netflix. You’ve probably seen the show – but have you read the books? They are five times as f***ed up as their TV adaptations. Joe just wants to find love – he studies the object of his affection under a microscope and manipulates every situation in order to meet her, make her fall in love, and kill her when she doesn’t love him back. Sure, in season 2 he makes an effort to improve – he doesn’t want to be the way that he is. He wants to be a good person, and manages to have healthy relationships with a few of the characters (mostly children and parental figures). However, although we should support people who are trying to be better, we should never ignore the red flags. When Candace showed up and told Love and Forty that Joe was trouble, tried to kill her and killed his ex, that should be a huge alarm sign. All’s fair in love and war? Ummm…not quite. I’d rather stay alive, thank you very much.
4. Gossip Girl, Chuck & Blair
I was a huge sucker for how compatible Blair and Chuck were in Gossip Girl – the fashion queen of the Upper East Side and the spoiled, neglected rich boy who finally met his match. Their chemistry and dynamic was impeccable – their ability to plot against their enemies by staying on the same team made you think they were the ultimate power couple. But here’s the thing: their relationship was incredibly toxic and unhealthy. Instead of being with people that made them better, they pushed each other to indulge in their evil side (a bit like the Joker and Harley Quinn). At one point, Chuck offered Blair to his uncle in exchange for real estate – that is not my idea of a ‘dream man’, and it shouldn’t be yours either.
5. Beauty & The Beast, Belle & the Beast
Stockholm Syndrome! This was one of my favorite fairy tales growing up, but when you put it into perspective and realize that the Beast kidnapped Belle and forced her to stay in the castle for his own sake, you realize that this is textbook Stockholm Syndrome. Belle falls in love with her captor, and decides to come back after he releases her. Sure, it might be because she saw his true colors and his newfound compassionate nature (which is what I like to imagine is true) or…she fell prey to a toxic situation in a pretty package.
Written by Tara Khudairi, The Struggling Graduate
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